Do you like huggable, furry, soft things with strange-looking ears and a body that's hysterically out of proportion?
You do? What's your address? I'll be right over. (Zing!)
(audience laughs loudly)
OK, OK. Everyone calm down. I know. I know. That was very funny ... but we have to move on.
Let's be serious for a second, can we, folks? I shouldn't tell you this but my contract with the syndicate says I can only endorse one plush comic character a quarter. But you know what? I don't care. I'm going to endorse Poncho for at least the next two quarters! See you in court, Salem!
You know why I'm willing to risk litigation and incur extravagant legal bills? It's because Paul Gilligan is a dynamite guy, an unbelievably talented writer/artist and his Pooch Cafe is an amazing comic. And his plush Poncho could not be cuter.
And I love cute things, just ask Kate Beckinsale. I can't because of the restraining order.