I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to get everyone sick. Really, I promise I didn't.
It wasn't like I was whooping it up -- I spent two solid weeks sick. It's just that I did the thing that I always complain about: I went to work and out with friends sick. And now basically everyone I know has the cough/cold/flu monster hybrid that incapacitated me.
Here's how I eventually cured myself: Drink so much water. Take vitamin D. Take Mucinex (pre-emptive strike). Take Tylenol. Take Emergen-C. Now sleep for an entire day. If you could find some Lifetime movies to have on in the background, that would be best. A cuddly animal will make things way better. Oh, and comics! Read comics!