Ever have those days when you wish you could be “anywhere else but here?” You could be getting a tan, seeing the world, or rocking out with your best friends -- but you’re not. You’re at work, or at home, or running errands. What if you could live in a comic strip?
I got a lot of positive feedback about the last week’s list blog -- so I have decided to go that route again. This week: 11 Reasons Comics are Better Than Real Life.
11. Travel Between Worlds
Dark Side of the Horse by Samson
Other comic characters do it all the time! Sine, from Dark Side of the Horse, crosses over here into the Pearls Before Swine world. Living in a comic strip would mean that if you got bored with one place, you could just warp to a whole new world and chill there for a while until you were ready to return.
10. Eternal Youth
While a few comic characters have aged over time (Luann comes to mind), many of them don’t. Are all comic characters secretly vampires? Probably not -- vampires are not nearly as interesting. That being said, the faster you decide to switch from living in the real world to living in a comic strip, the younger you will stay. Forever.
9. Revamp Your Style Without Plastic Surgery
Don’t like your legs? Fine. Think your eyes are too small? Not a problem. Want to lose some weight? Don’t bother killing yourself at the gym. Garfield survives on donuts and lasagna, but hey, it looks like he’s lost weight over the years. So grab a third donut (yes, the ones filled with icing), have a talk with the creator, and he or she will fix you right up!
8. Really Cool Parents
FoxTrot Classics by Bill Amend
By no means am I saying there aren’t cool parents out there. Two of them I’m proud to call my own! But, let’s be honest here, if I had devoured an entire bag of cookies in one sitting, my mom would have told me it was tough. There would have been a lecture about “once you eat something, it’s gone.” Which would turn into “once you spend your money, it’s gone.” Which would have turned into, “You need to go to college and get a decent job so that you can afford decent things in life.” Like cookies.
Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart
What’s not awesome about a wizard? Wizards have all kinds of awesome powers that (so long as they aren’t being used on you) are well worth living in a comic strip. I’m relatively positive there are no wizards in the real world. Though, if you are reading this and you are a wizard, come out of hiding. We promise to love you.
Invisible Bread by Justin Boyd
Apparently in comics, they eat so much bacon that they even have to keep emergency supplies of it just hanging around in case of a sudden craving. I see nothing strange about that.
5. Life Doesn’t Have to Make Sense
That being said, I think pancakes taste better when cooked in an orange juice powered dishwasher… by a chipmunk named Zeus.
4. Brains and Diets are Null and Void
Heart of the City by Mark Tatulli
Garfield? Peter from Foxtrot? Eno from The Duplex? Brains and diets are null and void more often than just when the weather sucks. I woke up late for work earlier this week and had a brownie for breakfast -- topped with Cool Whip and peanut butter. I’d fit right into this lifestyle.
3. Talking Animals
Heavenly Nostrils by Dana Simpson
This one explains itself. Animals can talk. Cool!
2. Meet Special Guest Stars
Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis
Several comics feature “guest stars” such as SpongeBob, former presidents, famous actors … or even death! Living in a comic, you will get the chance to meet them all.
1. Anything is Possible
Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson
If you can imagine it, it’s possible. Calvin is a prime example of that. His imagination runs wild -- and his adventures are never boring. Living in a comic means the only limitation you have is your own mind. That may or may not be a dangerous thing.
There you have it! Clearly living in comics would be 10 times cooler a million times cooler than living in real life. Can we get the technology to make this possible sometime soon, please?